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The first question to ask is "Who are THEY?"
Well, the bold quotes are from real parents or organisations. Today's competition is to see if you can tell the fake
recommendations...
"We hired Tommy Tickle for a party, and by the end of it he had entertained us and sorted the country out too.
Ended world poverty in a five minute magic trick routine, and redistributed food and wealth using balloons and a
chicken wishbone as catapults. Incredible. You couldn't even make it up."
Simon Cowell, Prime Minister, Downing Street, Julember 2012
"Thanks for your early evening performance at our wedding reception. You really managed to tire the
children out and put up with their shenanigans. The first thing in the morning, they were asking for you and
looking around the hotel for you. Very funny!" Kate & John, Tenterden, Valentines Day 2009
"I felt there was a hidden something in his performance, something...lingering."
Connie Tation, The Bishop's Elbow Pub, Lower Grebmorton, Feb 2009
"Thanks for everything you did on the day and ease of booking you. Fantastic website and I would have no
hesitation in recommending you."
Jonathan "Kneel" Jackson, Saltdean, Feb 2009
"Tommy Tickles' party antics completely took our breath away. Which wasn't his fault, the official report said, as
apparently it's quite dangerous to have a children's party in an airtight walk-in commercial fridge but I was working
on a tight budget and the venue was cheap." Andy Clockwise, Blubberhouses, Jan 2009
"You did our summer fair and you were a big hit. Many thanks. We will to book you again, but we won't put
you next to the beer tent again." Karen, Balfour Infants School, Brighton, August 2008
"His zany party antics were quite incredible, and I have to say his piece-de-resistance of having a fleet of flying
radio-controlled painted sandwich toasters and calling them the Red Brevilles was one of the amazing feats I have
ever seen." Anita Sitdown, Andhavvacuppatea, Canada, Jan 2009
"Having seen the bbc the other night, i have to say you are a discrace to the entertainment industry and i
for one would never book you to perform at my childs party" david.murray@ntlworld.com
"Ickle Tickles Dinky Disko is the worst thing to happen to the music industry since the creation of file sharing and
illegal downloads." NME, Jan 2009
"Tommy Tickle, you're a legend. I saw the BBC documentary last night, and it was like therapy listening to
your take on the world. You are wasted doing kids' in-home shows. You should have your own prime-time
major terrestrial TV show. Your entertainment value had nothing to do with any of the antics you displayed
to children, but in putting the world to rights.
Disembodied posh media bird: "Tommy, why are...people scared of clowns?"
You: "Why are people scared of the Russians? Why are people scared of chavs? It's the Daily Mail, innit?"
Priceless." Karl Jennings via email, April 2008
"Dear Mr Tickle,
After seeing your highly amusing debut on the television. I was struck with the thought that your life would
make a very good comedy series for TV. If I were you I would attempt to share this chestnut with any
possible contacts you may now have within the big world of television. I wish I was a commissioner or
writer, and I would approach you myself, alas I am a artist, so can,t help you there. Anyway, strike whilst the
iron is hot. You could write and star in it, and really clean up. I was on the verge of refusing to pay my tv
licence, but feel the BBC redeemed themselves with you. Thanks and good luck."
Emma Williams, via email, April 2008
"I thought you were brilliant on last night's Clowns Documentary. You should look into getting your own TV
Show. All the best." Sicksquid, via email, April 2008
"I watched the programme you was featured in tonight i thought that you came across as a very kind and
thoughtfull parent to your daughter. I hope that she is okay. After watching the programme i googled your
name, your website is incredible. I hope you become a millionaire you deserve it. Regards."
Matthew Stephenson, via email, April 2008
"Hello Gary, I wanted to say a big thank you for your great performance at my daughters party on Saturday
(Poppy).. She hasn't stopped talking about Jelly Belly and all the mums have been coming up to me since
to say what a fantastic party it was and how you've given them some real belly laughs too...."
Jenny Robertson, Kent March 2008
"Stop ringing me up for quotes about how good a clown you are! This is a directory enquiries, and I haven't even got
any kids. If I did have, I certainly wouldn't want you turning up after what you just called me. Now here's that number
you wanted for Kim Wilde. Go and hassle her instead." Operator, somewhere in UK
"Hi, I just wanted to say thank you very much for making Chloe's party very enjoyable, she loved it and so
did all the other children. Thank you." Lisa, Hove Feb 2008
"I'm convinced he's a major contribution to road safety." Sir Robert Mark, spokesman, Goodyear Tyres 1976
"The feedback from all of our tenants and staff who saw you at the seven events we laid on for them were
really positive. You were very funny and entertaining, and we will have no hesitation in booking you again
for future events. Once again, thank you very much. Diane Symonds, Raven Housing Association.
"Us adults enjoyed the party as much as the children did! I would recommend you to anyone that needed a
children's entertainer. Thanks. Julie, Hurstpierpoint.
"The children loved it! You made it a really funny party and I couldn't believe how long the children kept
their attention with you." Carey, Borough Green, nr Sevenoaks.
"The party was a riot! So much fun! The children had an excellent time, and I will be hiring you again this
Christmas for the playgroup I run, absolutely brilliant!" Heidi, Angmering.
"We all just wanted to say thank you once again for Holly's party on Saturday. We had great comments
from all the kids in Holly's class today and we're still amazed at how you kept them all hooked for nearly
two hours." Dean, Donna, Holly and Charlie, Broadwater.
"We really appreciate all of the work Tommy Tickle does, because he has single-handedly pushed our sales of air
fresheners up in the Sussex region by 900% due to the fact that his act stinks." Su Perb, Airwick Manufacturing.
"It's the first time I have enjoyed the party as much as the children have and it was really stress free."
Madeline, Warninglid
"His magic tricks are second to none, but he lost the kids a little bit when he frog-marched them down to our local B
& Q and gave them an overhead projection slide show for six hours on the new Health and Safety Regulations
coming into force from September 2006 about dry lining and screeding." Ron Day-voo, West Wittering.
"He kept all of the children mesmerised for such a long time, he was fantastic! Even though it was hot, the
children were still hooked. Lucy still talks about it." Barry and Amanda, Coolham.
"He told us he had to move in to our house for three months to get to know our sense of humour. When he finally
moved out after six months, we later found that he had rented out his own place on a short term contact and when he
left he sold our house. Even though we have no kids, the party was good." Troy Story, Hants.
"All of the children really enjoyed it, it was a really good Christmas show. Thank you very much!"
Linda, Portslade Playgroup.
"He was very funny. His clowning abilities were sensational. I just didn't think it was appropriate at his Uncle Reg's
funeral." Auntie Climax, Bristol.
"It was great fun. We booked Timmy Tickle a few years ago, and the children enjoyed it just as much."
Jo, Brighton.
"
He passed wind in the hallway, passed water in the living room and passed out in the ambulance. I am unsure
whether to re-book him or not for my son's next birthday, when he will be 37." Lee Voff, Croydon.
"He really managed to bring the children out of their shells. They are still talking about it!"
Vicki, Hove.
"It was great fun. We booked Timmy Tickle, his predecessor three years ago, and he was twice as good as that old
has been." Ana Ng, Xiang, China.
"Tommy really filled the place up with stupidity and fun. My daughter was really chuffed to help out with the
magic tricks. She loved it." Gemma, Brighton.
"I fully agree with the comment above the one above that one. When Timmy Tickle came around, our stereo and
double glazing went missing." Albert Potato, Nantes, France.
"He kept the all of the children (aged between 4 and 5) entertained for an hour and a half. We had to tell him
to stop in the end because the party was finishing!" Julia, Lancing.
"Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, Andy Kaufman, Chris Rock, Peter Cook and Bill Hicks. I think that this guy is nowhere
near that funny. Worse than Duncan Norvelle and Jim Davidson combined." Noel Edmonds, Bury St. Edmunds
"We would all recommend him after seeing his Christmas show. Terrific fun!"
All the mums at Wivelsfield Green Playgroup.
bacon and the kids loved it." Lennox, Brighton.
"My children still can't sleep properly when he showed them his real face when his clown nose fell off. If you book
him, make your offspring wear dark glasses." Jean Horrified, Storrington.
"Anybody who can keep 50 six year olds attention for over an hour deserves a medal!"
Heather, Brighton.
"Are you a homeowner? Do you have debts of over £15,000? Well, ring Debtbusters Loans now on 0870 0500 300
for no hassle, no fee chat. Call us today." Debtbuster Loans, Preston.
Look at all the happy faces of the parents from all
the parties I did last year (as they banded
together to form an angry mob to successfully
eject me from the Northern Hemisphere).
the parties I did last year (as they banded
together to form an angry mob to successfully
eject me from the Northern Hemisphere).
Be careful what you tell children- someone said
"I was round the bend" and kids do take things
literally...
"I was round the bend" and kids do take things
literally...
Pure honesty will get you nowhere with me if you
want to help with a magic trick. Just let some
money change hands before the show. (Small
notes in brown unmarked envelopes only, ta!)
want to help with a magic trick. Just let some
money change hands before the show. (Small
notes in brown unmarked envelopes only, ta!)
Upon my debut as a clown, McDonald's felt the
pressure and re-branded Ronald in a costly
controversial move that went tragically wrong
when the dog choked on the wig.
pressure and re-branded Ronald in a costly
controversial move that went tragically wrong
when the dog choked on the wig.
