A SHORT HISTORY OF MUSIC.
We shall start just after the year dot.
1500: The record was invented. The first ever sound recorded was Henry VIII baking a potato.
1670: Mick Jagger and Keith Richards first meet and form "Ye Rollin Stones".
1800: The record player was invented.
1850: Records were seen as a fad, like free AOL cd roms in magazines a couple of years ago.
They were mainly used as frisbees by peasants, and as hats by the rich.
1958: Technical difficulties are overcome when the hole in the middle of the records was
used for the first time, spawning a bloated music industry.
1970: 8 track cartridge breaks onto the scene, mainly for use in cars. Not too successful as car
radios need to be towed behind the motor in a trailer and require their own fuel source.
1982: Tight Fit successfully sued after it was proved that the lion didn't sleep tonight when 30
ramblers exercising their right to roam are eaten at Whipsnade Safari Park.
1985: CD's invented. Dire Strait's "Brother's In Arms" sells half a billion copies in 10 minutes,
at a time when the whole nation watched Brookside, wore beige Farah's with a lemon
Pringle and a red Lacoste. We all now bow our heads in shame.
1995: April 10th, 9.50 a.m. Minidisc revolution starts in a blazing fanfare, fuelled by stars and
big business like Sue Pollard and Happy Shopper.
1995: April 10th, 2.57 p.m. Minidisc revolution stops suddenly like a plane into a mountain in
fog with a dodgy altimeter.
1996: Speakers for stereos were finally invented, validating 500 years of pointless listening
excercises. Stars of the silent age, like Stereo MC's, BA Robertson and Sidney
Youngblood sign on after people finally hear what the album tracks sound like.
1997: April 10th, 3.05 p.m. MP3 format finally cracked, compressing music and to make the
Saturday Swap Shop team look foolish after their "music stick" April Fools' gag over a
decade before.
1997: April 10th, 3.06 p.m. Illegal filesharing starts. Napster gets rolling. Everybody pirates
songs they don't even want, such as D.I.S.C.O by Ottawa, Lou Reed's mid 70's industrial
period and early "Now That's What I call Music" volumes.
2003: Football players and Jimmy Nail are banned from releasing songs under an update from
the Geneva Convention. Guantanemo Bay inmates breathe a collective sigh of relief as
their Friday afternoon "Northern Lights" and "This Time, we'll get it right" music torture
sessions are discontinued.
2009: Ickle Tickle's Dinky Disco ignites village halls and remand centres from Hassocks to
Warninglid, and as far south as Aldrington. Riots continue up north as they can't
experience the 21st century party event as Tickle's car is not reliable enough to get up
there and weekend engineering works make it impossible to use the train.
We shall start just after the year dot.
1500: The record was invented. The first ever sound recorded was Henry VIII baking a potato.
1670: Mick Jagger and Keith Richards first meet and form "Ye Rollin Stones".
1800: The record player was invented.
1850: Records were seen as a fad, like free AOL cd roms in magazines a couple of years ago.
They were mainly used as frisbees by peasants, and as hats by the rich.
1958: Technical difficulties are overcome when the hole in the middle of the records was
used for the first time, spawning a bloated music industry.
1970: 8 track cartridge breaks onto the scene, mainly for use in cars. Not too successful as car
radios need to be towed behind the motor in a trailer and require their own fuel source.
1982: Tight Fit successfully sued after it was proved that the lion didn't sleep tonight when 30
ramblers exercising their right to roam are eaten at Whipsnade Safari Park.
1985: CD's invented. Dire Strait's "Brother's In Arms" sells half a billion copies in 10 minutes,
at a time when the whole nation watched Brookside, wore beige Farah's with a lemon
Pringle and a red Lacoste. We all now bow our heads in shame.
1995: April 10th, 9.50 a.m. Minidisc revolution starts in a blazing fanfare, fuelled by stars and
big business like Sue Pollard and Happy Shopper.
1995: April 10th, 2.57 p.m. Minidisc revolution stops suddenly like a plane into a mountain in
fog with a dodgy altimeter.
1996: Speakers for stereos were finally invented, validating 500 years of pointless listening
excercises. Stars of the silent age, like Stereo MC's, BA Robertson and Sidney
Youngblood sign on after people finally hear what the album tracks sound like.
1997: April 10th, 3.05 p.m. MP3 format finally cracked, compressing music and to make the
Saturday Swap Shop team look foolish after their "music stick" April Fools' gag over a
decade before.
1997: April 10th, 3.06 p.m. Illegal filesharing starts. Napster gets rolling. Everybody pirates
songs they don't even want, such as D.I.S.C.O by Ottawa, Lou Reed's mid 70's industrial
period and early "Now That's What I call Music" volumes.
2003: Football players and Jimmy Nail are banned from releasing songs under an update from
the Geneva Convention. Guantanemo Bay inmates breathe a collective sigh of relief as
their Friday afternoon "Northern Lights" and "This Time, we'll get it right" music torture
sessions are discontinued.
2009: Ickle Tickle's Dinky Disco ignites village halls and remand centres from Hassocks to
Warninglid, and as far south as Aldrington. Riots continue up north as they can't
experience the 21st century party event as Tickle's car is not reliable enough to get up
there and weekend engineering works make it impossible to use the train.
SO WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
The reinvention of the mobile disco is here! Meet Tommy Tickle's identickle twin brother, the
DJ Ickle Tickle and his contribution to children's entertainment, his "Dinky Disco", which is
possibly the world's smallest disco! The only space it needs is a corner/ floor space of around
60cms by 60 cms squared, or 1 metre squared if the banners are used.
Ideal for parties and events where the age range is varied or birthday parties where you want
the children tired out when they sit down to eat, this all new act utilizes some of the most up
to date technology from the 1980's. The games are designed to appeal to even the most huffy
of children, who say "I don't like dancing" or "don't spend my child benefit on a nice romantic
meal".
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU BOOK ICKLE TICKLE'S
DINKY DISCO?
A big mess at the end of the party!
A children's entertainer from start to finish, with the trademark plain
clothes start who transforms into a DJ.
ITiny speakers which can pump out a massive play list.
Some fantastic party games involving music, magic tricks, mayhem
and insanity.
A disco mirror ball! (that isn't pictured, because it was in the car and I
was tired and was too cheesed off to get it).
Flashing dancing lights, bright and colourful, possibly capable of
causing seizures!
An ickle lava lamp!
A full-time music professional, who when not working 87 hours a week
delivering pizzas and another 45 hours shining shoes, knows all there
is to know The Prodigy's "Fat of the Land" album, a kid's favourite!
A plasma ball, one of those glowing glass balls with coloured gas
where you put on it! (again, it was in the car along with the mirror ball).
A bubble machine churning it's little heart out!
Banners, backdrops and sparkly material!
Don't forget twistable balloons for all the children!
The full length version of Kraftwerks "Autobahn" with a question and
answer session about it at the end with the children!
Guaranteed no "High School Musical" or "Hannah Montana", unless
the children really scream for it. And then I'll give them some Oasis.
The reinvention of the mobile disco is here! Meet Tommy Tickle's identickle twin brother, the
DJ Ickle Tickle and his contribution to children's entertainment, his "Dinky Disco", which is
possibly the world's smallest disco! The only space it needs is a corner/ floor space of around
60cms by 60 cms squared, or 1 metre squared if the banners are used.
Ideal for parties and events where the age range is varied or birthday parties where you want
the children tired out when they sit down to eat, this all new act utilizes some of the most up
to date technology from the 1980's. The games are designed to appeal to even the most huffy
of children, who say "I don't like dancing" or "don't spend my child benefit on a nice romantic
meal".
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU BOOK ICKLE TICKLE'S
DINKY DISCO?
A big mess at the end of the party!
A children's entertainer from start to finish, with the trademark plain
clothes start who transforms into a DJ.
ITiny speakers which can pump out a massive play list.
Some fantastic party games involving music, magic tricks, mayhem
and insanity.
A disco mirror ball! (that isn't pictured, because it was in the car and I
was tired and was too cheesed off to get it).
Flashing dancing lights, bright and colourful, possibly capable of
causing seizures!
An ickle lava lamp!
A full-time music professional, who when not working 87 hours a week
delivering pizzas and another 45 hours shining shoes, knows all there
is to know The Prodigy's "Fat of the Land" album, a kid's favourite!
A plasma ball, one of those glowing glass balls with coloured gas
where you put on it! (again, it was in the car along with the mirror ball).
A bubble machine churning it's little heart out!
Banners, backdrops and sparkly material!
Don't forget twistable balloons for all the children!
The full length version of Kraftwerks "Autobahn" with a question and
answer session about it at the end with the children!
Guaranteed no "High School Musical" or "Hannah Montana", unless
the children really scream for it. And then I'll give them some Oasis.
 |  |  |  |  |  |
Thar she blows! Blows bubbles, more like! That's
some of what ye get, shipmate! Charge up your
electricity key (or get 50p for the meter) and get
ready to rumble to some ear-splittingly loud music. If
you have ear drums the size of an ant. Not Adam Ant,
though, OK?
some of what ye get, shipmate! Charge up your
electricity key (or get 50p for the meter) and get
ready to rumble to some ear-splittingly loud music. If
you have ear drums the size of an ant. Not Adam Ant,
though, OK?
Fights! Camel! Traction! Gaze, oh reader, on the
beauty of the ickle lava lamp, and the ever popular
bubble machine that is turned on for nearly 10
seconds every hour and a half!
beauty of the ickle lava lamp, and the ever popular
bubble machine that is turned on for nearly 10
seconds every hour and a half!
Hey! It's Ickle Tickle, trying to look smart before the
Provi loan woman comes round after he went and got
back from Specsavers! He looks like a well
professional and up to date DJ, in the mould of the
groundbreakers "Diddy" David Hamilton, Graham
Dene and possibly Tommy Boyd.
Provi loan woman comes round after he went and got
back from Specsavers! He looks like a well
professional and up to date DJ, in the mould of the
groundbreakers "Diddy" David Hamilton, Graham
Dene and possibly Tommy Boyd.
The nerve centre of this sophisticated set-up is
astounding. Marvel at it's complexity. It's a table all
the time, not periodically
astounding. Marvel at it's complexity. It's a table all
the time, not periodically
If it wasn't for the coal powered Jpod at the heart of
this operation, this set-up would be as portable as my
last overdraft statement.
this operation, this set-up would be as portable as my
last overdraft statement.
Say hello to Alan the Sockmonster! He helps play the
tunes, unload the car and feeds the little pixies in
Magicspecialand when he can be bothered. He will
have his ping-pong ball eyes repaired for the next
photo, as he was attacked by a particularly violent
child at a party in Hastings.
tunes, unload the car and feeds the little pixies in
Magicspecialand when he can be bothered. He will
have his ping-pong ball eyes repaired for the next
photo, as he was attacked by a particularly violent
child at a party in Hastings.
boots filled full of concrete act as wellington boots full
of concrete to hold up the poles that keep this
advanced disko rig together! There is talk of
sponsorship by Dulux, that may see this green wellie
painted a funkier colour, like grey or black, but they
haven't got back to me yet.