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IT'S GOOD TO TALK...
Unless you can't stand using your mouth, in which I can understand you have a problem.
Scroll on down to find your preferred method of getting in touch with me for a quote, or
just to have a go at me over something or other. Everybody else does, nobody likes me
and I have no mates.
I'm even call-barred from the Samaritans.
BY YAKKING DOWN YOUR FLUTEBOX...
You can use the electric telephone and by using these numbers in this order;
Mobile................................................07832 311270
You will get through to me, but many have tried through the years and I still won't take any
notice. There is an answerphone, so in the rare case you cannot reach me, I will get back
to you within the day.
SLAPPING YOUR SAUSAGEPOLES AT A KEYBOARD...
Sometimes it's more convenient to e-mail. If you need a quote for a party or there are any
points that have not been covered on this website, please feel free to use the form on the
right. Your information will not be passed on to any third parties, nor will I permanently
hassle you for the rest of your life wearing a big sign that says "I'm not going until you
book me".
BY WAVING FLAGS...
If the other forms of communication are to passe for a roister-doister like yourself, you can
always go to the tallest point around you and use semaphore to elicit come sort of
response from me. If you are going to do this, ring me first so that you can tell me where
you'll be so I can get some beers and call some mates so we can have a good cackle at
your expense. If you suffer from epilepsy, semaphore is not advised as you may have a fit
and accidentally sign obscenities at a passer-by. Find on your right a guide to the
alphabet, but for some reason it's in French. Zut Alors!
Unless you can't stand using your mouth, in which I can understand you have a problem.
Scroll on down to find your preferred method of getting in touch with me for a quote, or
just to have a go at me over something or other. Everybody else does, nobody likes me
and I have no mates.
I'm even call-barred from the Samaritans.
BY YAKKING DOWN YOUR FLUTEBOX...
You can use the electric telephone and by using these numbers in this order;
Mobile................................................07832 311270
You will get through to me, but many have tried through the years and I still won't take any
notice. There is an answerphone, so in the rare case you cannot reach me, I will get back
to you within the day.
SLAPPING YOUR SAUSAGEPOLES AT A KEYBOARD...
Sometimes it's more convenient to e-mail. If you need a quote for a party or there are any
points that have not been covered on this website, please feel free to use the form on the
right. Your information will not be passed on to any third parties, nor will I permanently
hassle you for the rest of your life wearing a big sign that says "I'm not going until you
book me".
BY WAVING FLAGS...
If the other forms of communication are to passe for a roister-doister like yourself, you can
always go to the tallest point around you and use semaphore to elicit come sort of
response from me. If you are going to do this, ring me first so that you can tell me where
you'll be so I can get some beers and call some mates so we can have a good cackle at
your expense. If you suffer from epilepsy, semaphore is not advised as you may have a fit
and accidentally sign obscenities at a passer-by. Find on your right a guide to the
alphabet, but for some reason it's in French. Zut Alors!
"I can't speak up, I'm a little husky today." Our
house-trained operators are ready to yap with
you at any time of day, except mealtimes.
house-trained operators are ready to yap with
you at any time of day, except mealtimes.
