Get a castle they said. Easy money they said. I might
have to get an easier job than this, like dismantling
land mines after taking a massive dose of
earthquake tablets. Can't you take them bowling or to
McDonald's next year for a birthday treat?
have to get an easier job than this, like dismantling
land mines after taking a massive dose of
earthquake tablets. Can't you take them bowling or to
McDonald's next year for a birthday treat?
These children waiting to go back on the bouncy
castle had such a good time on it that they
literally "bouncy all of their faces and hair off." It
has nothing to do with the fact I couldn't be
bothered to ask their parents to get permission
to show their faces, 'cos all the parents were not
there.They all dropped the children off, and had
just enough time to get back home and do adult
things without children in the house; like clean the
fridge out and go through the itemised phone bill
and apportion blame, before coming back.
castle had such a good time on it that they
literally "bouncy all of their faces and hair off." It
has nothing to do with the fact I couldn't be
bothered to ask their parents to get permission
to show their faces, 'cos all the parents were not
there.They all dropped the children off, and had
just enough time to get back home and do adult
things without children in the house; like clean the
fridge out and go through the itemised phone bill
and apportion blame, before coming back.
BOUNCY CASTLES - A VERY ENGLISH THING.
British Summertime. Birds singing. Church bells in the distance. The smell of freshly cut
grass lingering delightfully in the air. That little pool of chlorine that you walk through before
you get to the big swimming pool. A plate of stale biscuits arranged like the victims of an M1
pile-up at your Nan's being offered to you; involving Custard Creams, Nice, Pink Wafers but
no Bourbon Cremes because she rescued them from the "baked twice" wreckage using her
mouth. The reassuring thud sound of cricket ball against willow. Hang on, that last one was
wrong- it's the sound of children's heads clonking together on the neighbours' manned
bouncy castle by drunken uncle John. He's too busy arguing with his estranged wife Trish
over who keeps the 50 inch plasma whilst a procession of happy smiling children wait in a
queue on one side and are morphed into a shuffling bunch of injured crying war victims out
the other.
Welcome to the Bouncy Castle section of the site!
British Summertime. Birds singing. Church bells in the distance. The smell of freshly cut
grass lingering delightfully in the air. That little pool of chlorine that you walk through before
you get to the big swimming pool. A plate of stale biscuits arranged like the victims of an M1
pile-up at your Nan's being offered to you; involving Custard Creams, Nice, Pink Wafers but
no Bourbon Cremes because she rescued them from the "baked twice" wreckage using her
mouth. The reassuring thud sound of cricket ball against willow. Hang on, that last one was
wrong- it's the sound of children's heads clonking together on the neighbours' manned
bouncy castle by drunken uncle John. He's too busy arguing with his estranged wife Trish
over who keeps the 50 inch plasma whilst a procession of happy smiling children wait in a
queue on one side and are morphed into a shuffling bunch of injured crying war victims out
the other.
Welcome to the Bouncy Castle section of the site!
A MAN'S HOME IS NOT HIS BOUNCY CASTLE.
Tommy Tickle's bouncy castle is a 12 foot wide by 12 foot deep by 12 foot high industrial
strength bouncy castle created in bright colours supplied with sandbag weights, crash mats,
a fantastically strong Gibbons blower and a user manual that is in Polish, Greek, Urdu and
some other language that I can't understand, but my clown brother Tiny Tickle thinks it's
Vietnemese. I am not so sure.
The castle itself has nearly beautifully painted characters of the family favourite film from
Wilt Dozney, "The Jingle Bok", Backyard Kipling's delightful friendship tale that he wrote
before he invented boxed cake slices.
Local colourblind electrician and part-time artiste Lee Voff lovingly depicted the sentimental
scenes after purchasing the film from a man from the far east in a pub who quietly went
from table to table, repeatedly saying "Devedeeee, devedeeee".
After initial problems painting onto a PVC surface where he was permanently bouncing and
swaying, he decided to stand back and use 14 foot long paint brushes for the back wall
giving us the now classic "Seasick Masterstroke" look.
Tommy Tickle's bouncy castle is a 12 foot wide by 12 foot deep by 12 foot high industrial
strength bouncy castle created in bright colours supplied with sandbag weights, crash mats,
a fantastically strong Gibbons blower and a user manual that is in Polish, Greek, Urdu and
some other language that I can't understand, but my clown brother Tiny Tickle thinks it's
Vietnemese. I am not so sure.
The castle itself has nearly beautifully painted characters of the family favourite film from
Wilt Dozney, "The Jingle Bok", Backyard Kipling's delightful friendship tale that he wrote
before he invented boxed cake slices.
Local colourblind electrician and part-time artiste Lee Voff lovingly depicted the sentimental
scenes after purchasing the film from a man from the far east in a pub who quietly went
from table to table, repeatedly saying "Devedeeee, devedeeee".
After initial problems painting onto a PVC surface where he was permanently bouncing and
swaying, he decided to stand back and use 14 foot long paint brushes for the back wall
giving us the now classic "Seasick Masterstroke" look.
THE TECHNICAL AND LEGAL STUFF.
The castle is fully insured, and can be supplied as part of the 1 and a 1/2 hour or 2 hour
clown act, or dropped off for the day before 10 and picked up after 6. It falls under the
responsibility of a designated adult to man the castle, who has to wear a supplied hi-vi that
says on the back of it "Bouncy Castle Supervisor. Don't laugh, you're wearing this next."
To be competitive, I charge the same as everybody else would but throw in a big bin-liner
full of pre-made balloon animals that you can get out and either impress your children and
guests you made them, or my personal favourite, as items to be used for emotional
blackmail to get the children to do what you need them to do.
I would recommend 6 children at a time use the castle, or let one very obese* child on at a
time for hours on end while the other children look on unhappily and enviously. This
method can recreate your own childhood and forge an honest connection through
despondency and neglect with your own offspring.
*According to the media, every child in the UK is now obese even though I don't see any
evidence at parties.
BOUNCING CZECHS.
That's right! Anybody from the European Union, from The Czech Islands to Finway, are able
to use the castle, but only if they are in attendance at your party in a guest capacity.
The castle is fully insured, and can be supplied as part of the 1 and a 1/2 hour or 2 hour
clown act, or dropped off for the day before 10 and picked up after 6. It falls under the
responsibility of a designated adult to man the castle, who has to wear a supplied hi-vi that
says on the back of it "Bouncy Castle Supervisor. Don't laugh, you're wearing this next."
To be competitive, I charge the same as everybody else would but throw in a big bin-liner
full of pre-made balloon animals that you can get out and either impress your children and
guests you made them, or my personal favourite, as items to be used for emotional
blackmail to get the children to do what you need them to do.
I would recommend 6 children at a time use the castle, or let one very obese* child on at a
time for hours on end while the other children look on unhappily and enviously. This
method can recreate your own childhood and forge an honest connection through
despondency and neglect with your own offspring.
*According to the media, every child in the UK is now obese even though I don't see any
evidence at parties.
BOUNCING CZECHS.
That's right! Anybody from the European Union, from The Czech Islands to Finway, are able
to use the castle, but only if they are in attendance at your party in a guest capacity.
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Hey you, come back here with my wallet!
